03/12/2017
I can't believe that every section of the paper has been written! 5000 (well... 5076, so I will have to edit down) words of a project that has been six and a half months in the making...wow.
After finishing my discussion (or at least my first go at it... it is probably the section of the paper I am least confident about at this point) and reading through the whole mammoth of a paper, I have to say that I am proud of all that I have accomplished in AP Research this year. However, I still know that I have a lot of work and editing left to do. Now, in terms of further dissecting my feelings:
What I am Confident About:
I have to say that, of all the sections of the paper, I am most confident about my lit review. I feel that I am strong in the way I incorporated various sources into an academic conversation and a logical argument. I like how I build the credibility of each of my authors and show HOW they came to their conclusions in order to distinguish what is known about the cosmetics market and also to find where gaps exist in the knowledge behind consumer decision making between natural and unnatural makeup. I think the organization creates a nice flow for the reader, and I feel strong in terms of my transitioning.
I also like the way that I transitioned from my lit review to my methods section and explained why a blind consumption test is best for my research (I worked on this a lot with Ms. Haag when editing the methods). I think that, throughout my methods, I thoroughly relate what I am doing back to how the information will ultimately be used to answer the question. Additionally, in the results section, I think I do a good job relating the data to the types of conclusions that my question sought to reach.
What I am Not So Confident About:
I feel like some aspects of my methods section are confusing, especially the parts explaining scales (e.g. the hedonic scale, how I added up scores on the blind consumption test and exit survey). I think this also hurts me in the results section when I harken back to these scores and plot them against the newly added information (yet another scale!) - the mismatch score.
The methods section is what I ultimately feel is the weakest. I tried to incorporate sources from my lit review and connect what I ultimately found with my results back to the academic conversation, but it feels choppy/clumsy. I also feel like I am struggling with the significance portion, and, right now, I have it before the limitations and avenues for future research, but I didn't know the most effective order to put those three parts in. Advice on how I could better connect the discussion section back to the lit review and draw more significance and implications from my conclusions would be very much appreciated.
(504)
I think in the final paragraph when you say "methods section" you mean "discussion section," for those of you editing Audrey's paper.
ReplyDeleteHello Audrey!
ReplyDeleteGreat job finishing your research project on time! Regarding your overall research paper, I think that you did a great job clearly laying out your framework for your reader, in that the claims that you make are clearly substantiated and flow well. In regards to your concern about the significance of your research, I think that you can expand on why examining the makeup industry is important at the end of your first paragraph. You kind of go into detail more about why your topic is significant after you provide your hypothesis, but I provided another suggestion as to what you could add in your paper. Additionally, you can connect back to your Literature Review in your Discussion by explaining how misinformed consumer decisions are potentially harmful to any global market.
I also think that you should move the significance in your discussion from before the limitations to before the connection back to other sources in your academic conversation. Addressing the importance of your research sooner, rather than later, will add to your credibility and will make your results seem that much more important.
In your Results section, I think that you do a great job forming conclusions from the data, but I feel that you go into too much detail doing so, and that you should go into this much detail in the discussion. I feel that your discussion may appear as clunky since most of your conclusions are being seen for a second time, after first appearing in your results.
Other than that, I think that you did such an awesome job with your research!
(269)
Hey Audrey! I hope you had a wonderful spring break! As I was looking through your paper, I was very impressed at how you organized everything. Your sections were very clear and your subtopics were very aptly labeled. In your Literature Review, I think you only need to change some minor things like giving some more definitions and explaining a few things more clearly. Other than that, your Literature Review was excellent! Moving onto the Methods Section, I understand why you organized it the way you did. However, its kind of repetitive when you explain all the different parts of your methods section and then also have a procedure section which hits on all of those various parts again. Maybe just check with Mrs. Haag/other papers of researchers in your field. You are the expert here, and I can definitely be wrong! In addition to your Methods Section, I though our Results section was good except for the fact that you drew pretty specific conclusions. I loved the fact that you included broad conclusions in your results section; but I think it might have resembled a discussion section just in that regard. Your graphs and tables were very helpful and informative! In your Discussion Section, I think you need to relate things back to the significance of your research project a little bit more. I think this can come from alluding to the growing nature of the natural cosmetics industry and tying in your research to that. I agree with Rema that your discussion section may seem repetitive because you draw a lot of the conclusions in your results section first. Maybe just shifting them to the discussion section will help your word count as well as the flow of your paper.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy for you that you have come this far! I cannot wait to see the final product and watch your presentation on the 14th!
Thanks,
Ved Narayan
325 words
Hey Audrey! Good job with your paper! I'm going to go through the parts that you were confident about and the parts you weren't so confident about and tell you what I thought.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that the flow in your literature review was great. Everything you said clearly led to your question, and your transitions and sections were substantial and appropriate. There were just some things that I think should have been explained more to make it more clear, which I commented on.
Your explanation of the blind consumption test was also very clear, and even though you said you thought your explanation of the hedonic scale was confusing, it all made sense to me and I'm not SUPER familiar with your project, so I think it was good.
I also agree that you did a good job of drawing conclusions from the data; however, I think some of what you said in your results section belonged in your discussion section and vice versa, and Rema and I commented on that.
Significance has to be discussed kind of throughout your discussion section as you draw conclusions, but I think your main significance part should be toward the beginning of your Discussion section because it's a...significant...part to convey. Also, I think if you fix the parts of your results section that should be in your Discussion section and the parts of your Discussion section that we marked as things that don't really fit, then your Discussion section will be stronger.
Good job and good luck!!